Thursday, 7 April 2016

skincare overload

it's like 20 quid for all this shit!!! look how much shit there is!!! so much shit!!!
never heard of this brand of beauty box (they're called all boxed up if u cba clicking that link) anywhere before and tbh i forgot how i stumbled across it but most of their boxes are a bit crap except for this one like wow what a bargain

in it there's full sizes of a face wash, body cream, eye gel, hand cream, hot cloth cleanser (already tried it, v nice), moisturiser, serum and facial oil. could tell you the full names of everything but think of the EFFORT that would require ://///

ps me n mum took half of the stuff each bc i don't have enough skin to apply all of this on to and also i try to give the illusion that i am a good daughter

Tuesday, 15 March 2016

do you want to look like your face is not your face

right so we're all bored to death with people telling us how to contour or whatever and it's all cool when you strategically slap on a bit of brown powder in an effort to look "natural" but what about when you want to go big or go home?? well fear not friends bc i have found these pigmented af creams to make your dream of having a completely different bone structure a reality ur welcome

i haven't seen any other matte white highlighting creams and i was buzzin out my tits to try this one, i use a sponge to apply it to all the places that michelle phan et al. told me to and wowzers it does the job like my face looks so much more 3D than it actually is if that makes sense?? same goes for the contour shade, like next time yer in topshop get these instead of an overpriced pair of earrings they're well good

Saturday, 20 February 2016

the good stuff (not drugs)

{eylure texture 117 pre glued lashes // £5.35} {nyx hd blush in taupe // £5.50} {lush cup o' coffee face and body mask // £6.75}
{max factor masterpiece nude palette in cappuccino nudes // £14.99} {anastasia beverly hills dipbrow pomade in ash brown // £15}
{bareminerals complexion rescue foundation // £26} {gerard cosmetics hydra matte liquid lipstick in invasion // £9.50}
  {morphe mb30 deluxe flat contour brush // £11.95} {nyx slim lip pencil in earth tone // £4ish}

v tempted to call this my 2015 faves but it's a bit late now innit

ok so first i just wanna say that i'm so pissed off noone told me about pre-glued lashes sooner?? that's so rude?? the eylure 117s are actual stunners and so easy to apply and have changed my life significantly (not an exaggeration)

i've eventually learned how to do my brows properly (took me bloody long enough) and surprise surprise i now use the abh dipbrow and it's just as good as everyone says it is ok let's move on. also quick shoutout to the new max factor eyeshadow palette for being pigmented and gorgeous af & the lush cup o' coffee scrub for keeping my skin un-flaky

most-worn lip combo at the moment is the nyx lip liner in earth tone with the gerard cosmetics liquid lipstick in invasion and my lips look like those instagram models' lips when i wear these. that's a high level of praise right there

the nyx blush in taupe has been my go-to for contouring for like 2+ years but i recently got the new reformulated version and this brush that's really dense and is the perfect shape for slotting into your cheekbones and guys i'm not kidding my contour game is so strong now!! i've literally had it for about 3 months and i've already hit pan cause i pack it on like there's no tomorrow and i have no regrets you guys it's so good you need to try it

also finally found a foundation that is more than a 6/10 and it's the bareminerals complexion rescue. my foundation always ends up looking patchy at the end of the day and makes my dry patches look awful. NOT THIS ONE FOLKS it's moisturising and has fab coverage and matches my stupidly pale skin and i love it so much.

this is all coming from someone who is scared to express any emotion other than cynicism so yh 

Thursday, 4 February 2016

bloody love zara

1 // 2 // 3 // 4 // 5 // 6 // 7 // 8

zara has already stolen over £100 of my money this month & i literally can't spend any more any time soon so here's a list of stuff i plan on buying after it's been an appropriate amount of time (i'd give it 2 weeks tbh)

Thursday, 28 January 2016

ya girl got inked

hi i paid some man to stab me multiple times with a needle. not the most fun i've ever had but gonna show y'all cause i've shown it (and therefore a lot of sideboob) to almost everyone i've met in real life so let's just widen that sphere of appreciation

artist is jason corbett, not gonna gush over how talented he is cause i think his skill is pretty evident honestly but wow

Friday, 22 January 2016

is 3-step cleansing overkill

l'oreal extraordinary facial cleansing oil // £7.99
garnier micellar cleansing water // £4.99
ren evercalm gentle cleansing milk // £16

yes hello let's just all ignore that i have been away for many days because i had shit to do and time is an illusion but soz anyway

ok down to business. so my broke lazy ass loves having clean skin & i'm pretty picky, i need my cleansing to be cheap n fast n furious. not too furious though, just the right amount. like 5% furious 95% nice and gentle

i've sworn by cleansing oil ever since it first made contact with my face back in the good ol' days when it was the 2nd hottest kid on the block (i was the hottest). the l'oreal one is the best one i've tried, i just smush a few pumps around my face for a bit and when i rinse it off everything's gone and all that hard work i put into my contour has literally been washed down the drain. a beautiful tragedy

i use micellair water on a cotton pad before going in with the oil if i have loads of eye makeup on just to avoid smearing such vast quantities of black shit everywhere. also fantastic for when you fuck up your eyeliner js

last is my actual "cleanser" cleanser bc i've gone a bit paranoid since hearing too many people talk about the shameful sin that is blocking ur pores so i gotta take extreme measures. i use this cream cleanser by ren (it says it's a cleansing milk but that is Wrong and a lie) after everything else and on its own in the morning. it's super moisturising and gentle and costs the same amount as a weeks' worth of food BLOODY LOVE IT THOUGH 10/10

Thursday, 3 December 2015

pink parcel // november 2015

pink parcel // first box for £7.95

aight so i think we can all agree that most beauty boxes are a let down unless ya spend £35 on cohorted, but even then there's a big ol chance of getting something from a hella expensive brand that u still don't like. and personally i have enough disappointments in my life without adding to them and losing $$$ in the process

so u must be thinking wow why the hell did this fool subscribe to another one is she ok?? short answer no but i found a discount code to get a few boxes for £6 each and this brand has a rad concept that i can totally get behind - they send u feminine hygiene stuff (you can time it so it arrives right before ur vag starts doing its thing) and some nice lil extras so that being on your period is less of a shit time.

didn't realise quite how much stuff they send u tho, like i'm swimming in tampons

but the "nice lil extras" are actually so impressive, there's a hand cream, chocolate, brow palette, eyeliner, tea, nail polishes (IN SHADES I'LL ACTUALLY WEAR THANK GOD), sachet of body moisturiser and a soothing balm for headaches. nice thing is that they don't include the RRP of everything so it doesn't seem like they're rubbing it in your face how good value they are but i googled those nail polishes & they're hella expensive so good job
there's also a box marked "for down there" (cause apparently even a tampon box is too embarrassed to use the word vulva) which has some sort of fancy pH balancing serum typa thing idk i haven't had a proper look at it yet which in hindsight i probably should've done before writing this but then again we wouldn't want anyone getting the impression that this is a high quality blog would we hm